We all know how important it is to do the best we can. Parents, teachers, friends.. anybody you talk to are very likely to advise you similarly for any situation that you come across as being “conflicting” or if you just need a few words of encouragement. We also try to make ourselves believe that by doing our best we can expect victory.
The problem arises when what we expect does not happen.
A good example from my experience would be exams, tests, quizzes, assignments..whatever you want to call them. I was always a wuss when it came to cheating on a proctored test (not online quizzes of course :P) which also made me feel like a loser for not doing so or else I would have gotten As on these tests just like the other students who had the guts to cheat their way through them. But no, I decided I would give my all, study as hard as I could and do the best I could do.
How is it fair that someone who studied their butt off several days before the test gets a B while someone who spent 30 mins creating a cheat sheet ends up getting an A? How is it fair that teachers do not notice when other students cheat but I feel suspicious just for stretching out my arms or simply looking up during a test thinking maybe my teacher might think I’m attempting to cheat?
Yes. I am clearly not a risk taker in school and fortunately or unfortunately, this characteristic about me has its consequences.
However, I am a dare devil when it comes to relationships..taking risks left and right.
Lately I’ve been thinking.. Is it necessary to be a dedicated person and work towards building a relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Go the extra mile with trying to impress your significant other, finding ways to make him/her smile, planning a date, dressing up to look your best, and even trying new recipes and taking it over to the person because you value his/her opinions.
I mean, unlike your education or career, relationships are not entirely under your control. When do you know you are putting in way too much effort?
Is there such thing as ‘trying too hard’ in a relationship?
I am not saying it is wrong to give your all in a relationship, but the more dedicated you are, the more it hurts after you decide to part ways from your significant other. When you look back, it does bring a warm feeling about yourself because you know you did the best you could but at the same time think “Ya I totally deserve this heartache for all the f**ks I gave”. How do you deal with this feeling? Do you shut down and barricade yourself from future relationships?
Yes, sometimes life is unfair. But let us take into consideration all the amazing things that has happened as a result of us doing our best. Like that one time when you got that A on that exam from your own hard work, that time when your professor recognized you because of an exemplary paper you turned in 3 years ago, that time you earned yourself the job you have been waiting for several months, that time your significant other smiled and gave you props about the dish you made, that time you got complimented on how you look, and last but not the least, the time when you realized you are appreciated.
What is unfair to you is for you to want to succeed and feel appreciated all the time.
So let us touch base on the several questions mentioned above: there is no solid answer.
It is important to just take life as it goes, there are failures and there are successes. There is sadness, there is happiness. Unfortunately it is natural for us humans to grab on to our success so tightly that we prevent ourselves from growing, similarly, we take our failures to heart and shut down. Always remind yourself that your lowest could also be worse..simply picture yourself in a worse scenario and your perspective of life changes. You will start appreciating what you have rather than sulk about what you do not. Nothing is permanent which should give you even more of a reason to look forward to what the future has in store.
The best part is, you gave your all in all you did. That itself should bring you the satisfaction you deserve. Believe in yourself and your actions, smile, and take your next step. Life is as beautiful as you make it out to be.
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