To Be or Not To Be

It amazes me how logically backward some people still are. What I mean is — Men, when women have feelings for you, you will know they do because a woman is usually more open about her feelings for a man than a man is to a woman. Women are way too obvious to figure out. Men just make it difficult for themselves at times. It is foolishness for a man to think a woman is interested in him just because she is friendly. The same can also apply vice-versa.

Can a man and a woman be just friends?

Unfortunately, I think the answer is no. And there are quite a few of you who would agree with me.

Now, there are instances where you hangout with someone of the opposite sex but have full and complete understanding of your expectations from each other. These instances are very rare though. Even then, the closeness of these friendships cannot be compared to the friendships we hold with the same sex and probably do not last as long either.

But for the most part, there is always some kind of purpose or expectation that is either romantic or sexual when men hang out with women which makes it impossible for true friendships to bloom. If the base of the relationship is crush, being just friends or expecting a friendship to develop with the person is not wise thinking. My advise: Walk away. We should refrain from spending more than the time already spent with the person. Maybe our intentions are harmless. Maybe we truly just want to get to know the other person, the person who has feelings for us, sometimes we want to figure out why that person is infatuated by someone as normal and regular as us, but in this process we are also giving the person mixed signals. It would be different if the person really did see us as just a friend, but it is difficult to tell how someone really feels. Therefore, as soon as we see a hint of comfort or emotional intimacy from the other side, there has to be a complete shut down from our side.

By shutting down, it’ll not only save them the confusion, but it will leave us drama free and save us the time we may have to spend explaining ourselves to the person when he or she tries to clarify the relationship we share.

On the contrary, maybe we ourselves might be confused. Maybe we do not know for sure if we want to be more than friends with the person who is clearly interested in pursuing a romantic relationship. If confusion arises, the best thing to do is to stop and reevaluate what WE want in life in-terms of relationships. Are we looking for friendship? Romance? It is important to know what we want before we try to figure out what we want of that person. Just take a step back, leave yourself and the other person some space to think. For those who do not care to reevaluate and like playing games with people’s feelings, all I have to say is – You. Are. Just. Plain. Rude. These are the people to watch out for as they come up with the most absurd excuse ever..” I did not know”.

Relationships start from within us. If we are not ready for any kind of relationship, it is reasonable to say we cannot expect ourselves to be convinced into being in one.

You cannot force yourself to fall in love. It just happens. Love is not something that is planned or expected. I very much agree and believe when it is time, our heart and mind will open up the path to feeling this amazing feeling of warmth, joy, and bitter-sweetness with another person.

Although the topic is not rocket science, this blog is dedicated to those confused souls who are in one-way untitled relationships and do not know what to do and are still waiting for some kind of sign from the person they want to pursue a relationship with. Save yourselves the heartbreak and rejection by being aware of what is going on around you. Some of you are very much into taking chances, kudos to you my friends, but there are quite a few who do not have the time to waste and are not interested in playing games. For their sake, we should be considerate and not lead them on.. regardless of how foolish and unaware they might be.

My point, if the question “to be or not to be?” arises, for the most part, it is not to be.

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